In Wayne Dyer's bestseller The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-create Your World Your Way, he outlines seven steps for overcoming your ego, which I've found helpful.

Step 1) “STOP BEING OFFENDED”

We all know people who get offended by just about everything. When we’re around them, we watch what we say, because we know it won't take much to set them off.

So when you’re around people who are easily offended, realize that it’s their ego. Don’t be drawn into the drama by adding your own two cents or by trying to change their mind.

If you’re the one who’s easily offended, work on changing the negative pattern. (And recognizing it is often the hardest part.)

By constantly being on the lookout for shortcomings in other people, you’re not helping to change anything. You’re actually contributing to the problem.

Step 2) “LET GO OF YOUR NEED TO WIN”

This is hard to let go of because winning is a sure way to get an immediate ego boost. But Dyer points out that you can’t win all the time. And how do you feel when you lose?

If losing devastates you, it’s because you're getting your identity mixed up with winning and losing. But the only thing that's been lost is how you think about yourself. In other words, the loss has occurred to the ego, not to who you truly are.

Step 3) “LET GO OF YOUR NEED TO BE RIGHT”

Why is being right so important to you? Because it strengthens your ego.

But what happens when you're right and your son or daughter is wrong? Or your husband or wife is wrong? Are you able to let go of being right then? Or do you have to prove you're right, even if it means proving that someone you love is wrong at all costs?

“I’ve seen people end otherwise beautiful relationships by sticking to their need to be right. I urge you to let go of this ego-driven need to be right by stopping yourself in the middle of an argument and asking yourself, Do I want to be right or be happy?” says Dyer.

Step 4) “LET GO OF YOUR NEED TO BE SUPERIOR”

“True nobility isn’t about being better than someone else. It’s about being better than you used to be,” says Dyer.

By being in competition with yourself, working to improve your way of being in the world, your focus shifts from lecturing and judging others, to improving yourself. (But don’t judge yourself, or it defeats the purpose!)

Dyer points out that “We are all equal in the eyes of God.” So if God sees us as equal, then how can we be superior (or inferior) to another person?

Step 5) “LET GO OF YOUR NEED TO HAVE MORE”

What happens when we always need more? We can’t appreciate what we already have because it’s not enough. In the end, our lives become shallow, unrewarding, and meaningless.

“The mantra of the ego is more. It’s never satisfied. No matter how much you achieve or acquire, your ego will insist that it isn’t enough,” says Dyer.

When we always need more, we can’t part with what we already have, even if we no longer need or use it, because the ego feels less when it has less.

But having more clothes, for example, doesn't make us better people. It doesn’t even make our lives easier. Having a lot of clothes that are too small, too big, outdated, or stained simply gets in the way. But the ego feels deflated when it looks in the closet and sees empty spaces.

Step 6) “LET GO OF IDENTIFYING YOURSELF ON THE BASIS OF YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS”

Dyer urges us to let go of identifying with our achievements because alone, we don’t achieve anything. “God writes all the music, God sings all the songs, God builds all the buildings, God is the source of all your achievements,” he stresses.

Step 7) “LET GO OF YOUR REPUTATION”

This was probably the hardest thing for me to let go of. I always wanted people to like me and would be crushed if someone didn’t. I'd think, What did I do wrong? At the time, I didn’t realize that I couldn't control what others thought about me, no matter how badly I wanted to.

According to Dyer, what people think about you is beyond your control, so your shouldn't waste time obsessing about it. “Your reputation is not located in you," he says. "It resides in the minds of others. Therefore, you have no control over it at all. If you speak to 30 people, you will have 30 reputations.”

You can't twist yourself into a pretzel trying to please everyone you meet because no matter how hard you try, there will always be somebody who doesn't like you.

Dyer recommends that you do this:

“Stay on purpose, detach from outcome, and take responsibility for what does reside in you: your character. Leave your reputation for others to debate; it has nothing to do with you.”